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When things get tough, let go

  • louiselupton3
  • Apr 13, 2023
  • 4 min read

Updated: Apr 17, 2023

You experience an insane bout of verbal abuse, unexpected and out of the ordinary. All of a sudden you lose complete clarity. You lose sight of what your super power is, you lose confidence, you lose track of what you are meant to do. Something I hope I never experience again.


Those words led in part to a period without full time work. It led to loss, fear, sadness and a huge drop in confidence. But I got through it. So here's the how and my top 10 learnings in the hope it may help you or someone you know. Number 2 is a big piece in the puzzle and I'll explain why.


1. ACCEPT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH

This took me the longest amount of time mostly because I allowed rejection to drive it. If you don’t know where to start then seek help via a Coach (Anna Mosley info@annamosley.com)


2. LET GO OF THAT WHICH HASN’T HELPED

This includes any form of toxic culture or leadership you might have experienced along the way. It can take its toll.


3. KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT

I spent too much time pursuing that which I felt I ought and made sense after a solid 26 year career instead of focussing on what I really wanted. Once you know you’re better armed to articulate it and I advise seeking help on this.


4. KNOW YOUR VALUE

This isn’t just about whether or not you tick boxes for roles- this is about talking to people whose opinion and input you trust for feedback


5. SEEK NEW CONVERSATION TO FEED YOUR SOUL

Get in touch with those people you admire who you’ve had no relationship with- you absolutely NEVER know where it might lead you and the advice & connection you might receive.


6. TRY SOMETHING NEW

Show yourself what you’re made of. It helps big time. I applied for, enrolled and passed Strategic Thinking for the CXO with Cambridge Jul-Sep 22. I learnt so much more than I’d ever been taught. I started Bungee Fit in February which is possibly the most liberating form of exercise I’ve ever undertaken and I finally decided to launch this blog.


7. NEVER GIVE UP

But know that sometimes you just have to take a day off and if things get tough, a week off. Allow your energy to recoup.


8. RETHINK HOW YOU’RE APPLYING FOR JOBS

This is a personal view but I will never use certain platforms for search ever again. I have never and will never ask anyone for a job. Only work with Recruiters you trust implicitly who know their industries inside out and who stretch their advice and push for solid feedback to really help.


9. TAKE TIME TO BREATHE

Appreciate what you have, what you can do with it instead of focussing on what you don’t


10. NEVER TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY

Accept it’s not meant to be. And that’s a good thing. In fact, it’s brilliant.


Letting go- way easier said than done right? I spoke with my coach Anna at some length on this and spent a powerful "Breakthrough Day" with her 121 in January this year to break through those elements preventing me from letting go: https://annamosley.com


As Anna explains "it sounds obvious, but we cannot change or influence the past. It’s done, completely out of our control…So why is it that many of us remain so held back by it?" Anna goes in to explain that roughly 90% of our thoughts are the same as we had yesterday, driven by unconscious beliefs and programmes simply repeating on a loop. Beliefs drive our thoughts, which drive our emotions, which drive our behaviour. It’s as simple as that. And the whole purpose of my Breakthrough Day.


My negative experiences although not the only self limiting piece of the puzzle, were a major part.


The process of ‘letting go’ of unhelpful beliefs and stuck past emotions (such as fear, anger, hurt, sadness and guilt..)associated with those beliefs, is integral to transformational coaching, something Anna prides herself on. This ‘deep mindset work’ (often using highly effective neuro-linguistic programming techniques) helped me to re-code. To redefine my entire mindset and prepare myself for all that lay ahead.


The relief you gain from letting go is powerful stuff and possibly the most important thing you can ever do. As Anna says "you are only in your true Power when you are owning the present moment – no longer held back by your past or future – in control of your thoughts, truly present in that moment."


So without doubt letting go is a journey. One with all sorts of exciting destinations and one that only comes about when you address precisely what you need to let go of.


I was haunted. By negative words. I can remember the man that made me feel that way. I allowed his words to control my thought process instead of allowing myself to know me better. I can now confidently look back at that man and pity him. He is and was, a tiny dot on my timeline and it feels great to bury him right there. Words hurt. They are powerful things but as they say, you always remember how someone made you feel and not the words they used. The words have gone but that feeling I will never forget.


Utter release.




 
 
 

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3 Comments


nicholson.kerry
Sep 30, 2023

Thank you Louise 🙏🏻

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nicolafairliesharp
Apr 20, 2023

I absolutely love this Louise…especially point number 5. I felt an instant connection with you when we first met and I believe that these types of connections are true and powerful at times. Well done on having the courage to publish your blog.

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louiselupton3
Apr 20, 2023
Replying to

Thanks Nicola- my first comment! I just hope it helps people- that’s the whole point 🙏

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